Program Topics
There is more to life than increasing its speed.
– Mahatma Gandhi
Today, more than ever, people are stressed. The world is evolving at the speed of light, social pressures are rising, the cost of living isn’t getting any less expensive, and trying to maintain a calm attitude is getting more and more difficult.
Even with today’s advancements in science and technology, medical professionals are still treating stress as a chemical imbalance in the brain. Stress and anxiety are lifestyle-related issues that can effectively be handled by understanding the nature of our minds and bodies and responding to their needs.
The biggest problem in our treatment of stress is that we deal with stress in the same way as we deal with any other physical ailment. Our first response to physical illness is usually to identify the symptoms of a problem in the body and use pharmaceutical drugs to control them. We take the same approach to deal with our mental problems. We diagnose the problem as some sort of imbalance in the brain and prescribe necessary drugs to control it. While drugs can change the body chemistry and help it to heal, they have absolutely no effect on healing the mind. The mind is not a physical “thing”. It’s made up of thoughts, emotions, feelings and everything that can’t be touched, smelled, seen, heard or tasted. How can you treat something with drugs that isn’t even a tangible entity?
In spite of all our technological advancement, we are yet to come to any conclusive understanding about the nature of our minds and the root cause of our stress, anxiety, fears and frustrations. The state of modern mental health is a clear indication that the methods and techniques we have been using to deal with our mental problems have been ineffective. Antidepressant drugs are products created out of our deep desire to find quick relief, and pharmaceutical companies identifying an opportunity to satisfy that need. There is no scientific proof that any of the antidepressant drugs work in the long run. The temporary relief we experience from taking these drugs is nothing more than a short-lived cover-up for the real problem.
Far worse than just not solving any of our mental problems, pharmaceutical drugs can cause a wide range of side effects, ranging from sleep disorders to weight gain to addiction and insomnia. All one has to do is listen to a commercial for one of the drugs and there are more side effects than benefits! We need to relook at our understanding of stress and how we treat it. We need a radically new way of looking at the relationship between our mind and body and learn how to bring about a synergistic balance between the two.
So what exactly is stress and anxiety and how do we deal with them?
If we actually reflect on it, we can see that stress has been a part of our lives all along. We came into this world writhing and screaming in stress and pain. What can be more stressful than taking birth? The most important thing we need to understand about stress is that it is not a genetic defect, chemical imbalance or result of some trauma that we have experienced. Stress is a natural part of our lives. There is no need to treat stress as some extraordinary ailment. Having said this, we don’t have to live with unwanted stress for the rest of our lives.
The very functioning process of the mind causes us stress. The mind pushes us along the journey of life by constantly setting expectations and trying to attain them. When the expectations are met, we experience a sense of happiness and relaxation, and when the expectations are not met, we experience stress and anxiety. This is the simple mechanism of stress.
All forms of stress are simply components of our expectations and the varying degrees to which they are not met. This is why anybody can get stressed; rich, poor, smart, ignorant, beautiful, not-so-attractive, successful, unsuccessful – all kinds of people get stressed, because stress is a result of the expectations we set for ourselves.
This is the reason why it is so easy to get stressed about our finances. Unlike emotions and other experiences of life, numbers don’t have a grey area. With numbers, we can clearly see whether our expectations are met or not. A drop from $10 to $9 can cause as much stress as a drop from $10 million to $9 million if we don’t know how to handle stress.
Learning how to deal with our expectations and our constantly-expecting mind is the key to learning how to handle daily stress and anxiety. We know very well that we cannot stop expecting, otherwise there would be no reason for us to wake up every morning and look forward to the new day. Expecting is a part of our reality and we don’t have to change it. What we can do instead is become aware of our expectations. This can be done only at the moment when an expectation is being set; neither before nor after. If we are fully alert and conscious to the process of expectation setting, we can detach ourselves from the impact of its results. This might sound like a very simplistic solution, but it works every time.
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A man and his son were once going with their donkey to market. As they were walking along by its side, a countryman passed them and said: “You fools, what is a donkey for but to ride upon?”
So the man put the boy on the donkey and they went on their way. But soon they passed a group of men, one of whom said: “See that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides.”
So the man ordered his boy to get off, and got on himself. But they hadn’t gone far when they passed two women, one of whom said to the other: “Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge along.”
Well, the man didn’t know what to do, but at last he took his boy up before him on the donkey. By this time they had come to the town, and the passers-by began to jeer and point at them. The man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at. The men said: “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor donkey of yours—you and your hulking son?”
The man and boy got off and tried to think what to do. They thought and they thought, till at last they cut down a pole, tied the donkey’s feet to it, and raised the pole and the donkey to their shoulders. They went along amidst the laughter of all who met them till they came to Market Bridge, when the donkey, getting one of his feet loose, kicked out and caused the boy to drop his end of the pole. In the struggle the donkey fell over the bridge, and his forefeet being tied together he was drowned.
“That will teach you,” said an old man who had followed them:
PLEASE ALL, AND YOU WILL PLEASE NONE
Here is an example to show how observing expectations works:
The next time you set a goal, become aware of the entire process. Watch each and every thought that is creating this experience. Observe the root cause of the desire to set this goal. Observe it
The process will
Now, the whole trick is learning how to watch all of your expectations without missing any. Since this process of expectation-setting is happening all the time, you need a very systematic and scientific approach to cultivate the habit of watching your thoughts regularly. We’ve covered this process before, and it’s called mindfulness.
Mindfulness is one of the oldest and most effective techniques that can be used to deal with your daily stress and anxiety. In fact, there is no other solution that can match up to mindfulness in its effectiveness in eliminating stress on a longer run. Mindfulness is the ultimate solution that can help you to deal with all your daily mental challenges of life.
As you can see, mindfulness is the thread that runs throughout the “The Silent Path” program, and if there were to be a one-stop solution for all problems, it would be mindfulness.
When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.
– Winston Churchill
Methods & Techniques
Mindfulness technique to deal with daily stress and anxiety:
Mindfulness is the process of bringing your awareness to daily activities. The key to mindfulness is doing one activity at a time with total focus and awareness before moving on to another activity. A lot of stress we experience on a daily basis is because we try to juggle between too many activities at the same time without understanding the limitation of the body and the mind. Mindfulness helps you to keep your focus and awareness on one activity at a time. When you are eating, keep your entire awareness on eating instead of thinking about something else. Similarly, you can bring mindfulness to all simple daily activities of life. You can walk, drive, exercise, and even socialize mindfully. When you bring your focus and awareness to an activity, you are rooted in the experience of the present moment. This will give you tremendous control over your life. With regular practice, the very quality of your life will change from one of constant anxiety, stress and disturbance to that of focus, certainty and control.
Mindfulness requires an anchor that can remind you to be focused, aware, and in the moment. Different techniques of mindfulness are about creating different anchors to assist in mindfulness. One of the best anchors for mindfulness is your breath.
You are breathing all the time, so it is easy to remind yourself to watch your breath. Every time you are lost in your thoughts, remind yourself to watch your breath. Take short breaks throughout the day to become aware of your breath. With regular practice, your breath becomes the anchor for your mindfulness. Every time you are beginning to get agitated, disturbed or stressed, immediately come back to the breath, watch it for a few moments, then keep your focus on the particular activity you are performing. This will clear out unnecessary thought processes and assist you in staying relaxed.
Psychological exercise for quick relief:
When in severe stress or during a panic attack, it is sometimes difficult to remind yourself to be mindful and relaxed. During these times you can use a quick relief technique. In moments of severe stress and anxiety, immediately stop what you are doing, walk to a quiet place, clench your fists and take 5 very deep breaths. Take deliberately slow and long breaths. With each exhalation relax the tension in your fists gradually. This will relax your breath and balance your energies to immediately provide some relief. Now you will be in a position to stay mindful and manage your stress levels.
Candlelight Meditation
Sit in a darkened room with a candle in front of you. The candle should be at eye level. Sit in a comfortable position with your hands in your lap. Begin watching your breath, breathing slowly. Continue watching the flame as you observe your breath. When your mind begins to wander, bring it back to the flame.
Do this meditation for at least 15 minutes per session, as often as you want. There’s something magical and calming about watching a flame and being in the moment.
Focus Meditation
Questions For Reflection
Question 1: How do you practice mindfulness?
Question 2: How can you control your expectations for the outcome of a situation?
Question 3: Is stress always bad? Give examples of good stress. Examples of unhealthy stress.
Question 4: Think of several things you could do to relieve stress in an unpleasant situation.
Question 5: Why are drugs ineffective at treating problems with the mind?